FLOO'S FLIRT'S FUZZY'S
"An amazing inventor Mr. Floo Flirt has just recently made a new creation. This is a 'Floo Flirt' original, says Mr. Floo Flirt. This new invention looks simply just like a pom-pom as Muggle's may call it. (A pom-pom is a fuzzy ball used for arts and crafts) What this does is it finishes what your saying if you have trouble explaining it. Other's may call what this device does as flirting. 'Simply amazing!' says George Brian, a random street wizard. They will soon be in stores such as, Talking devices, Sal's super cool inventions, Fluffy inc. and none other than Floo Flirt's invention shop. These shops are located at Diagon Ally.
WARNING: take EXTREME CATION, this device may try to bite VARIOUS parts of your body"
WARNING: take EXTREME CATION, this device may try to bite VARIOUS parts of your body"
MINISTER OF MAGIC : HIS STRANGE RELATIONS WITH GOBLINS
"Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic, denied that he had any plans to take over the running of the Wizarding Bank, Gringotts, when he was elected Minister if Magic five years ago. Fudge has always insisted that he wants nothing more than to "cooperate peacefully" with the guardians of our gold.
BUT DOES HE?
Sources close to the Minister have recently disclosed that Fudge's dearest ambition is to seize control of the goblin gold supplies and that he will not hesitate to use force if need be.
"It wouldn't be the first time either," said Ministry insider."Cornelius 'Goblin-Crusher' Fudge, thats what his friends call him, if you could hear him when he thinks no one's listening, oh, he's always talking about the goblins he's had done in; he's had them drowned, he's had them dropped off buildings, he's had them poisoned. He'd even had them cooked into pies. No one knows what that 'Goblin Crusher' will do next."
BUT DOES HE?
Sources close to the Minister have recently disclosed that Fudge's dearest ambition is to seize control of the goblin gold supplies and that he will not hesitate to use force if need be.
"It wouldn't be the first time either," said Ministry insider."Cornelius 'Goblin-Crusher' Fudge, thats what his friends call him, if you could hear him when he thinks no one's listening, oh, he's always talking about the goblins he's had done in; he's had them drowned, he's had them dropped off buildings, he's had them poisoned. He'd even had them cooked into pies. No one knows what that 'Goblin Crusher' will do next."
SIRIUS BLACK: VILLAIN OR VICTIM
"For fourteen years Sirius Black has been been believed guilty of the mass murder of twelve innocent Muggles and one wizard. Black's audacious escape from Azkaban two years ago has led to the widest man-hunt ever conducted by the Ministry of Magic. None of us has ever questioned that he deserves to be recaptured and handed back to the dementors.
BUT DOES HE?
Startling news evidence has recently come to light that Sirius Black may not have committed those crimes for which he was sent to Askaban In fact, says Doris Porkiss, of 18 Acanthia Way, Little Norton, Black may not have been present at the killings.
"What people don't realize is that Sirius Black has a false name," says Ms. Purkiss. "The man people believe to be Sirius Black to be is actually Stubby Boardman , lead singer of the popular singing group The Hobgobins , who retired from public life after being struck in the ear by a turnip at a concert in Little Norton Church Hall nearly fifteen years ago. I recognized him the moment I saw his picture in the paper. Now Stubby couldn't have committed those crimes, because on the day in question he happened to be enjoying a romantic candle light dinner with me. I have written to the Minister of Magic and am expecting to give Stubby, alias Sirius, a full pardon any day now." "
BUT DOES HE?
Startling news evidence has recently come to light that Sirius Black may not have committed those crimes for which he was sent to Askaban In fact, says Doris Porkiss, of 18 Acanthia Way, Little Norton, Black may not have been present at the killings.
"What people don't realize is that Sirius Black has a false name," says Ms. Purkiss. "The man people believe to be Sirius Black to be is actually Stubby Boardman , lead singer of the popular singing group The Hobgobins , who retired from public life after being struck in the ear by a turnip at a concert in Little Norton Church Hall nearly fifteen years ago. I recognized him the moment I saw his picture in the paper. Now Stubby couldn't have committed those crimes, because on the day in question he happened to be enjoying a romantic candle light dinner with me. I have written to the Minister of Magic and am expecting to give Stubby, alias Sirius, a full pardon any day now." "
CRUMPLE HORNED-SNORCACK
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In London, England a Crumple-Horned Snorkack has been spotted. This Snorcack was the first sighting in 68 years. People have believed them extinct but that was before Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore spotted one in a forest. Many people had not believed that Snorcacks were real but when Dumbldore showed us his memory everyone now knows.